The Customer's Rule Book

The Customer's Rule Book, is a figment of a customer's imagination. It is an imaginary book they created within their head to relate back to when they believe they are in a situation where the customer service is not up to their satisfaction.
As an employee, I have never read this book, and I'm sure many of you haven't either. But this is what I believe is written there...

1. As a customer, I am always right!

2. As a customer, I dictate the prices when...

a) The wrong price comes up on the machine

b) There is a sign over a stand of shirts and shorts. The sign says all shorts, $9.99, clearly the shirts that are ticketed $24.99, are $9.99 too. THE SIGN SAYS!!

c) I swear I saw a sign there

d) Everything is on sale

3. If a price is not coming up, it must be free!

4. I know there is a line, I see people standing in the line, but I want help NOW! Double exclamation mark!!

5. As a customer, I have the right to complain to the employee about their stores customer service, at how slow and incompetent they are at serving me. At how there is no one on the floor, and that I am in a hurry. BUT, I do have time to wait around to speak to a manager about how shitty the store is.

6. As a customer, I have the right to tell the employee I hated shopping at the store, and that I wont ever shop there again, BUT I'll be back tomorrow.

7. As a customer, I have the right to put things on hold and tell the employee I'll be back to purchase, and then never come back.

8. As a customer, I have the right to stand and watch an employee fold clothes and make the display look all nice, and then go in there and take it apart looking for a size I don't actually like.

9. As a customer, I have the right to wait for an employee to have a bunch of things in their hands, or going on break, and then ask them to help me find something I can easily find on my own, but I'm to lazy.

10. As a customer, I have the right to come to an employee and return an item I have had for over two years, no longer have the receipt, have some how ran it over with my car and it no longer fancies my taste, but I swear that's what it looked liked when I bought it.

11. As a customer, I have the right to wait till 2 minutes before close, and then come to the employee to buy or try on my 20 articles of clothing, and then decide I don't actually want any of it. Then I have the right to complain that I can't get back to my car because someone has locked the doors I came in through, and now I have to walk farther.

12. Just to restate it, I am always right!