Wednesday, November 25, 2009

A quick List on...How to know when you have a Stalker

This is really just a parody on my friend who has a 'potential' stalker. I hope you enjoy it.

1. 1. Shows up at your house un-invited

2. 2. Follows you to class

3. 3. Some how knows your phone number and constantly calls it, and then when you pick up they say nothing, and all you hear is constant breathing.

4. 4. All of a sudden they’re riding your bus even though they live on the other side of town

5. 5. You wake up and they’re there

6. 6. They’re there in your room standing over you with a knife

7. 7. You scream but you can’t because they have duck taped your mouth closed.

8. 8. They lean in and put their pointer finger on your mouth and do a “shh” motion.

9. 9. They knock you out

10. . You wake up and duck tape is gone and everything looks like it did the night before, except now there’s no crazy person standing over you with a knife in their hands.

11. Although there is a lump in the covers that isn’t you

12. You sit up and the lump coughs

13.

“I know you’re there” you say

14. The lump sits up and it’s little Jimmy from down the street

15. . “What the @#$% little Jimmy?... You really gotta stop doing that”

16. Little Jimmy looks up at you with those big brown eyes, and then ignores you and hops off

17. The doorbell rings and you walk downstairs and answer it

18. No one’s there but a note

19. You pick it up and open it and it says

20. Who the @#$% is Little Jimmy?

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